The Fight to Leave the Comfort Zone

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In life, we often want to make changes, but somehow, a voice inside our heads tries to convince us that that’s a bad idea. Perhaps we are considering attending a dance class, but we resist by telling ourselves that meeting new people will be awkward; or running in the mornings, but the mind reminds us that it’s too cold outside; or, finally, make that solo trip abroad, but once again, we push back saying it might be too dangerous or lonely. But have you noticed that when we overcome that negative internal voice and do it anyway, we feel a strong sense of accomplishment?

In this article, I discuss the comfort zone, what lies behind it, and why it’s important to confront it.

The Infamous Comfort Zone

A comfort zone is an area in our lives that elicits a predictable and comfortable state, making us feel safe and under control. For most of us, the places we frequent regularly are our primary physical comfort zones because they feel familiar, put us at ease, and evoke a sensation of predictability. But what happens when we are invited to a new place? Naturally, we no longer feel as comfortable as when visiting a frequented place.

A comfort zone isn’t just a physical place but may include our careers, interests, relationships, or other areas. The term “comfort zone” is often used to refer to all the comfortable areas in our lives.

The Terror of Leaving the Comfort Zone

Realistically, stepping out of our comfort zone isn’t easy. Our nature makes us feel that anything outside of it is dangerous. The thing is that our brains have not yet adapted to current times.

One theory suggests that the brain is wired to resist change because it increased our odds of survival during hunter-gatherer times. Back then, leaving our comfort zones meant potentially encountering other tribes, dangerous animals, or adverse weather conditions. For better or worse, this feeling has carried over to today’s living conditions, limiting our willingness to adventure into new areas.

Another theory suggests that demonstrating incompetence meant potentially being ousted from our tribes and left to fend for ourselves. Every resource counted for the tribe, so each member needed to contribute effectively.

Fortunately, that’s no longer the case. If we make a mistake at work, come off unconfident during a speech, or fail at anything, society shouldn’t oust us because we didn’t perform effectively.

It’s Never Been Comfortable

It’s interesting to think how our comfort zones, at some point, were not too comfortable. Even from the moment we were born, we were crying and soon found our first comfort zone on our mothers’ chests.

I am sure many of us dreaded attending our first day at school, wondering what other kids would think of us, or, our first day in our jobs, questioning whether we had what it takes to perform effectively.

But what happened eventually? Those fears probably disappeared after going through the novice phase and establishing a routine.

The subconscious mind learns that we engage in safe and predictable environments, turning explored places or activities into new comfort zones.

Have you ever noticed how we like sitting in the same place at restaurants, offices, or classrooms? Yep, that’s because we also turned them into comfort zones.

If It’s Comfortable, Why Leave It?

While I believe we should spend time in our comfort zone to maintain a healthy emotional state, life rewards us with new experiences and exponential personal growth when we step out of it. We achieve a sense of accomplishment, gain confidence, and improve our self-esteem.

The greater the challenge of leaving one’s comfort zone to pursue a personal goal, the greater the return on personal growth.

Usually, early in our lives, we do not have much choice about whether we want to grow. Our parents impose it on us by giving us greater responsibilities or guiding us to explore new areas. Even the government mandates that we pursue a certain level of growth through education. However, after we become adults, we are fully responsible for it.

Growth is limited if we repeat the same things continuously. Being stagnant, while comfortable, causes our self-esteem to suffer since we are not pursuing what nature intended for us: to continue evolving, whether that be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or in other areas. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to leave our comfort zones and seek growth.

The Antidote

The resistance felt when considering exploring a new pursuit is likely to be mainly fear of the many things that could go wrong. While no potion suddenly dissipates fear or anxiety, these instances allow us to be courageous.

I understand that this doesn’t sound sexy or exciting, but the irony is that acting courageously, despite the results, is rewarding in itself. That’s because inside of us, we know what we must do, and doing it means we are taking steps towards becoming the person we are striving for. We also demonstrate to ourselves that we don’t let fear determine our future.

This isn’t to say that we should ignore the potential consequences or a negative gut feeling, but they should only be evaluated to make an informed and calculated decision.

However, just like a muscle, I believe we can train courage by engaging in activities that make us resist and then progressing to something more challenging, preferably in an area we want to improve. The more we see ourselves succeeding, the more confident we will be when seeking to expand our comfort zones.

In my case, I am seeking to improve my socializing and communication skills, and I often challenge myself to strike up conversations with people. Several times, I see the opportunity for it, but a part of me starts questioning myself.

The negative inner voice tries to convince me that I’ll be annoying people or that I won’t be able to hold a good conversation and will come off awkward. However, after doing this repetitively, my subconscious has begun to interpret it as a safe and normal practice.

Conclusion

Spending too much time in the comfort zone without restraint can be deceiving. As the name implies, it makes us feel comfortable, but we often don’t realize that it can hinder our personal growth. Even if nature wants us to “keep it safe,” acting courageously is our best response.

Chances are that the people we most admire didn’t become exceptional by staying in their comfort zones. Likely, that’s because they chose the challenging but rewarding path.

Perhaps that’s what we should be focusing on: finding meaningful challenges worth stepping out of our comfort zones, because as we get closer to taking our last breath, these decisions will likely influence whether we feel like we lived an accomplished, meaningful life or not.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped” – Tony Robbins